Men Do Remember Anniversaries

MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said..."I would have gotten out today."

BBQ Season

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is importantto refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces,and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts!
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

Top 20 Things you don't Say to A Cop when Pulled Over

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

18. Aren't you the guy from the villiage people?

17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.

16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

14. Bad cop. No donut.

13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?

12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

11. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on cops?

10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

9. I pay your salary!

8. So uh, you on the take or what?

7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that's how far they area head of me.

4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.

3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag ofcrack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Office Jokes

**Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

** If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

** Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

** Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

** Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

** A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.

** If at first you don't succeed, try management.

** Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

** TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

** The beatings will continue until morale improves.

** Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

** We waste time, so you don't have to.

** Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

** Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

** A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

** When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

** INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

** Succeed in spite of management.

** Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment

One Day.....

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One day a mother died .

And on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of her bedroom, the daughter was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.

No more hugs, no more lucky moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, No more 'just one minute'

Sometimes, what we care about the most goes away. never to return before we can say good-bye, Say 'I Love You.'

So while we have it . . it's best we love it . . And care for it and fix it when it's broken and take good care of it when it's sick.

This is true for marriage ... and friendships

And children with bad report cards; And dogs with bad hips; And aging parents and grandparents We keep them because they are worth it, Because we cherish them!

Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, No matter what.

Life is important, and so are the people we know And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone today who thought I was a 'KEEPER'!

Then I sent It to the people I Think of in the same way!

Thank you very much for being a special part of MY Life !

Heroe's Unaware

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HEROES UNAWARE
By Mark A. Wright, HMC(SS)22 June, 2000

I first saw him on a park bench
I've seen him every day
Sitting in a shady grove
Where my children come to play
Sometimes he feeds the birds and squirrels
Or whittles little toys
Sometimes he just sits and smiles
At the laughing girls and boys
And I never paid him any mind
'Till one day just this year
I noticed that he wore a frown
And on his cheek ... a tear.
Well I asked him why he seemed so down
He looked up, began to say
I lost half my friends 60 years ago today
He told me of the terror
As he fought to reach dry land
By the time the beachhead was secure
Half his friends lay in the sand
That was just in one long day
He fought on for 4 years more
And the 60 years from then to now
Have not dimmed His sights of war
He said they have reunions
Just to keep in touch and share
And for each comrade who has gone on
They leave an empty chair
Well, His park bench has been empty now
About 6 months or so
And if I'd never took the time
Then I never would've known
That sitting on that simple bench
With bread crumbs and little toys
Was a man who gave his all
To guarantee my daily joys
So give thanks to all the men and women
Who're still here or have gone before
And made the highest sacrifice
In both Peace time and in War
Because they bought our freedom
Paid their own blood, sweat, and tears
Then endured the heartache of those empty chairs
For all these years
So please do not ignore them
Or speed by without a care
'Cause you never know
When you might pass by
A hero, unaware

Just a Biker? (Dedicated to Holly)

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JUST A BIKER??

I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line. But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.

I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk. But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local mall.

I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant when you saw my bike parked out front. But you didn't see me attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief.

I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I rode by. But you didn't see me riding behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children. But you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.

I saw you stare at my long hair. But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.

I saw you roll your eyes at our leather jackets and gloves. But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old ones to those that had none.

I saw you look in fright at my tattoos. But you didn't see me cry as my children where born or have their name written over and in my heart.

I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere. But you didn't see me going home to be with my family.

I saw you, complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be. But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.

I saw you yelling at your kids in the car. But you didn't see me pat my child's hands knowing she was safe behind me.

I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road. But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn.

I saw you race down the road in the rain. But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.

I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time. But you didn't see me trying to turn right.

I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in. But you didn't see me leave the road.

I saw you, waiting impatiently for my friends to pass. But you didn't see me. I wasn't there.
I saw you go home to your family. But you didn't see me. Because I died that day you cut me off. I was just a biker. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me.

EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, RESPECT OUR RIGHTS TO RIDE WHAT WE CHOOSE AND TAKE A FEW EXTRA SECONDS TO BE SURE WE ARE NOT IN 'YOUR' WAY

Dedicated to the memory of bikers who have lost their lives because those extra seconds were not taken to see if they were there.

*Please be respectful of bikers... Cars don't own the road... *