Women

~ Women think all beer is the same.

~ Women brush their hair before bed.

~ Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modelling.

~ Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

~ Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

~ Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

~ Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

~ Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

~ Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

~ Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

~ Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

~ Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

~ Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

~ Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant; so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. ~ Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.

~ Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

~ Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.

~ The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

~ Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

~ Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.

~ If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

~ Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

~ Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?