- The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire
- You make tuna noodle surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
- Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.
- The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
- Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.
- The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.
- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
- When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
- You've used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
- Your family prays AFTER they eat!
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